The past couple weeks I have been so focused on pleasing everyone else that I lost track of who I am and what Im trying to do. I was doing so great with my attendance at work, I started to get everything lined up to start school again, I was reading books all the time, I started drawing, started scrapbooking, started new recipes and was just happy and content with my self. Well yesterday I had a rude awakening. I have became unhappy again. I have let all that go within a matter of days. I have drawn once, cooked once, barely even started scapbooking, stopped reading, didnt even care to return my library book. School hasnt even crossed my mind in about two weeks and Im suppose to be picking classes in 7 days. It has gotten so bad to where I wont even fold my clean clothes or hang them up. Ive pulled them outta the dryer and threw them in to huge pile. This pile is now up to my hips if I propped the pile up just right. I put all my energy and time into something that I couldnt force. I tried to force it, tried to persuade it, tried to trick it, tried to manipulate it. I should have realized that if it was meant to be then it would be.
I have been longing for my other half, the person that makes me feel complete, the one that has the desire to make me smile and see me laugh, the one that knows his day isn't complete until he See's me and knows Im happy. This probably sounds needy and I may be asking for too much. But I know what I deserve and I have met men that are actually like that. I know they exist. I long for this because this is exactly what I would do for someone else. I love him, I really do! I have tried and tried to be what he wants, what he needs, what makes him happy, but there is my problem. What about what I want, what I need, what makes me happy?
I want success, good health, a college degree, a backyard of my own. I need to smile, I need to vent, I need to feel loved. I'm happy when someone loves me back, when I see the light in my daughter's eyes glisten. Im happy when I don't let other peoples issue get in the way of my goals and dreams.
If anyone can relate please keep reading. My wonderful friend Gabby sent me a message (below). This message reminded me everything I learn when I started reading and when I started to become happy with myself again. Tonight I am going to write 5 of these quotes and place them somewhere in my room. That way every morning when I wake up, I know what I need to focus on the obstacles in life are just that, obstacles.
"Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives"
"If you don't know where you are going
you'll end up someplace else."
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living
someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma —
which is living with the results of other people’s
thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to
follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you
truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
(“There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”)
“Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things
that matter. Don’t spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.”
"Everything around us is made up of energy. To attract positive
things in your life, start by giving off positive energy."
“Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart,
to give yourself to it.”
“We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past.
Become the architect of your future.”
(“Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will
suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by
letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever”.)
“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.”
“Everyone faces challenges in life. It’s a matter of how you learn
to overcome them and using them to your advantage.”
“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself
what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because
what the world needs is people who are alive.”
“No matter where you are in life right now, no matter who
you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to
be who you are meant to be.”
“The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.”
“Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what
is possible for your life.”
(“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.”)
“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you
need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy
and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you;
and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others.
If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you
know what you want”
(“Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time
away from your own.” )
“20 years from now you will be disappointed by the
things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did. So throw
off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the
trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover”
“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall
into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”
“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy
lies in having no goals to reach.”
“A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
Your life is yours to create – Don’t let others do it for you.
Amanda you are the own creator of your experiences... it all starts with your imagination..
picture your self where you want to be who you want to be what you want to accomplish
imagine your self already there and everything will fall into place.. attract what you
want to bring to your life.. don't loose focus... let Wyatt be who he is and focus
on the potential that you have inside your self to create a world full of happiness for you..
focus on your goals and the things that make you
happy do not loose your identity.. love your friend gabby
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