Parents Test

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY




MESS TEST



Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in

the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.



Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.



Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may

substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them

all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or

kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).



GROCERY STORE TEST



Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with

you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and

pay for anything they eat or damage.



DRESSING TEST



Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag

making sure that all arms stay inside.



FEEDING TEST



Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from

the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert

spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the

mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the

contents of the jug on the floor.



NIGHT TEST



Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds

of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and

hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm

for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have

ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00

AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up

for 5 years. Look cheerful.



PHYSICAL TEST



Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your

clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.



Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.



FINAL ASSIGNMENT



Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they

can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet

training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.

Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run

wild.



Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the

answers.

Found this Online. Hope you got a little laugh