Parents Test

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY




MESS TEST



Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in

the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.



Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.



Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may

substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them

all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or

kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).



GROCERY STORE TEST



Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with

you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and

pay for anything they eat or damage.



DRESSING TEST



Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag

making sure that all arms stay inside.



FEEDING TEST



Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from

the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert

spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the

mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the

contents of the jug on the floor.



NIGHT TEST



Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds

of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and

hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm

for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have

ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00

AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up

for 5 years. Look cheerful.



PHYSICAL TEST



Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your

clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.



Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.



FINAL ASSIGNMENT



Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they

can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet

training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.

Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run

wild.



Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the

answers.

Found this Online. Hope you got a little laugh

Roller Coasters and Relationships.

They are always slow at going up, Your getting to know each other but then they can drop to the near bottom right before your eyes. You take a quick left and a sharp right. Then you enter a dark tunnel. A tough and stomach dropping feeling and you never know what is on the other side. You know either way the ride is going to end but how? When? Where? That is the joy of jumping on and just going for it.

Now we either continue to take these rides for the addictive feeling, the adrenaline rush, the chemical change in your body. Or we opt out for good. The feeling is unpleasant and too scary for us. We stick with the kiddie rides. Ones you can get off real quick and you know they aren't going to go too fast or too slow. We keep it comfortable.

For us that keep coming back for more, we either get on by a dare or a fantasy. We know that the ride has a beginning and an ending. We know there are no promises and very little sense of security but we are intrigued by the feeling of the unknown.


If you go in with fear you never let your self actually enjoy the ride, you become weak and loose control. If you go in too strong you let your guard down too quick and you take the ride for granted. You never know when its going to end. But when it does end your the one confused and shocked and usually disappointed.

You must go in with knowledge of the ride, the risks that you are about to take, the possible falls that you cannot control. You need to sit back and observe the ride before you jump on.

Get an understanding of the history of that ride. I'm not saying to listen to others who have already rode the ride and their experiences. I mean for the way it was built, the ones who make it run, the ones the made sure it makes to turns easily and drops down but with the courage and strength to come back up. That way you have a slight amount of awareness for the unknown.

Never jump on a ride expecting too much or too litte, you will usually become disappointed. Once you get on a roller coaster or a relationship, its hard to get out. Be well aware you are ready to take that risky ride. You can not control how fast they go, when your ready to slow down, when you want it to go up or ready for it to take a turn, but you can control how it makes you feel and how it affects you.

Be sure when you take those rides in life you learn lessons and take the positive outlook when it ends.

Insecurities suck!

I have a horrible issue with being insecure. I hate attention from guys unless its my guy. I get uncomfortable when someone points out my good qualities or tells me I'm pretty. If I get a complement I tell myself "they are lying". I get worried when there are other girls around and I'm having a lazy dress down day. I tell my self "I am not as pretty as them" and I constantly feel like my guy is checking them out or wishing I looked like them. I constantly wonder if he wonders what they would be like in bed or what they look like underneath those clothes. I always worry that my relationship is going to end and worry about my future with him. I get mad if he isn't making it aware to everyone that I'm his one an only. I get jealous if he is talking to girls that are just friends and possibly not even close friends at that. I worry if he is sitting on the other side of the couch and not being affectionate. I'm way too analytical for my own good with everything from text messages and facebook to silence or toned responses.

I hate that I'm like this but I have decided to make a change. I will start to build my self-confidence. I will let go of my fear of rejection. I will feel inferior. I will be sure of my abilities. I will get back to having only positive thoughts of my self.

I know I am beautiful, gorgeous, hot and I can be sexy when I want. I know I can pull something off a walmart shelf and make it look just as good as the girl walking around in Buckle clothing. I have an amazing personality and I know how to have a great time. I am an amazing mom and a great friend. I have a huge heart and love everyone. I forgive easily and love strongly. I'm an amazing girlfriend and some day a wonderful wife. I encourage my man to be more and achieve higher goals. I love him when times are grand and when they are rough. I should know and respect that he loves me just as much and he wouldn't be here if he didn't. He wouldn't be sharing his thoughts, his goals and his life dreams with me if he didn't want to be with me.

Fidelity is a gift that one person gives another. If I try to force fidelity out of him it is just robbing him of the joy of giving it to me. Its not love, its a negative form of co-dependency. It makes him feel powerless and like a slave. If I just allow him to gift me with his fidelity, he will be pleased to give more then I expected. I read that "trust is like a muscle. It needs to be used to grow. It will not grow if it is not used"


I know things change and I know feelings can change and if the time comes I will deal with it then, but right now I need to cherish the days and moments that I have with him. I cant worry about when or how the end is going to come... just enjoy every moment we are together. His smile, his touch, his words, his human-ness... these moments are the most wonderful things in life, I will experience them fully. Not throw them moments away by worrying.

He has shown me I can trust him and I have no reason not to. I just need to relax.



If you relate to this, please say so. I would love to know that I'm not the only one.

Does everything really happen for a reason?

You automatically think everything happens for a reason. Its a way of helping your self accept what is going on at the moment. But honestly, would you walk up to someone that just lost their loved one and say "Everything happens for a reason"? I think not. You will probably no longer be friends or punched in the face.
A friend of mine truly believes that nothing happens for a reason. Him and I would have arguments constantly about why I believed they do and why he disagrees. I thought that if one thing happens its so that another thing can happen, and then this thing happens because that happened and then you end up where your suppose to be. Well these days, I don't believe that as much. I used it as a band aid for the negative that was in my life. I figured it was suppose to happen and a good experience was going to come of it.

Now I think I understand what my friend was meaning when he said nothing happens for a reason.
 I believe that God shows me things or puts me in situations in my life but its what it does to me and the way it makes me feel that brings reason to them. There is no reason that I fell out of that tree except for the fact that I learned my lesson to be more careful. There is no reason for why I got hurt in that relationship. It wasn't so that better can come along, it wasn't so that I can make that change for me. It was for me to learn a lesson and know when I'm truly being loved and cared for. I have faith that any obstacle, no matter how big or small, I am going to overcome it and I'm going to learn from it. I have a faith that only comes from the experience. I read this quote from a man named Jared and he says "Its important to realize that things happen around us, not to us."

With the crazy summer that Ive had and all the obstacles that have came my way such as Tess getting bite by the dog, breaking her leg, breaking up with Wyatt, meeting new people and then getting back with Wyatt, I have realized that these where all lessons that I have learned from. They didn't happen in my life intentionally, they just occured and I made a conscious decisions that contributed to these occurrences.

With Tesslynn getting bit by the dog I learned how to calm a scared child, how to remain calm for her sake, how wrap a dog bite and care for an open wound how to be loving and nurturing on a whole other level then what I do on a daily basis.

Her broken leg, I learned to tell when a leg is broken or sprained, how to elevate a broken leg, how wrap it, how to care for a cast, how teach her to walk again.

Wyatt and I breaking up. I learned that I can not give love to someone very easily without fulling loving my self first.

Meeting people such as Kevin. There wasn't a reason I met him. I didn't get my job so that I can meet him, we can have a strong relationship, we can stop dating every 3 months, start dating again, and I can find what I want. I met him by choice and I learned so much from him. I learned how to laugh again over the simplest things, I learned how communicate on a mature level, how to understand someone else's feelings and not just think about my self. I learned how to enjoy other things in life like Hikes, plays, movies, fancy dinners and more.

Getting back with Wyatt I learned that I need to love my self while loving someone else. I learned how to not focus on the petty annoyances and focus on the things that really matter. Like the happiness of our family, the laughter in all 3 of our voices, the sound of a quiet house when my little family is sound asleep. These are things that matter most.

If there are obstacles that are in my way of learning more from the experiences that have already taught me so much, then I need to move those obstacles and continue to focus on learning life lessons everyday.

Tesslynn may get hurt again one day but I will have more knowledge on how to care for her, how to help heal her, how to stay calm. Wyatt and I may break up permanently but it wont be for a reason, it wont be so that something else can come along, it'll be gods way of allowing me to learn a new lesson. Kevin and I may never talk again or we may be good friend but it'll teach a new lesson and I will continue to grow.

Everything that comes my way is now a lesson and I will embrace it. I will love what life throws upon me and I will find wisdom from it.

SPORTS FISH OR KEEPERS. WHICH ONE ARE YOU?




I'm reading a book by Steve Harvey called Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

This book is amazing so far. I must share a key subject in the book that I think woman need know.

Ladies that are blaming men for treating you like an object (sports fish), maybe you should take sometime for your self and evaluate the type of person you're portraying yourself to be.



According to Mr. Harvey, a sports fish is a woman that doesn't have any rules, requirements, or respect for herself. Men can smell these girls coming. They are the party gals. The ones who take a sip of their long island ice tea or taking that shot of Patron and then announces to her date that she "wants to just date and see how it goes". This girl does not hold and restrictions to men and men can treat her in any kind of way they please. Men will stand in line for these girls, that's for sure.



Then there is what he calls a "Keeper". This girl never gives in easily, she has high standards and requirements and you can notice that from the moment she opens her mouth. You can see she commands respect just by the way she dresses, walks, talks.. These girls will also send the signal that she is capable of being loyal, taking care of a man and being appreciative of what he brings to the relationship. Guys may walk up and give her their best known pick up lines and these girls may giggle and think its cute but there is no guarantee that you are going to get her phone number. This girl knows what she wants for her self and is determined to get it. Men also have to get in line with these girls but its not behind other men, its behind her standards and requirements.



Its not the guy that determines whether you're a sports fish or a keeper-its you.

When a man approaches you, take control over the situation. You decide whether he buys you a drink, gets your number, takes you on a second date, all of that. Men want these things, that's the reason they talked to you in the first place. You decide if he gets those things. Steve Harvey says "Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give a to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you , or move on the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

Time to get back on track!! :)

The past couple weeks I have been so focused on pleasing everyone else that I lost track of who I am and what Im trying to do. I was doing so great with my attendance at work, I started to get everything lined up to start school again, I was reading books all the time, I started drawing, started scrapbooking, started new recipes and was just happy and content with my self. Well yesterday I had a rude awakening. I have became unhappy again. I have let all that go within a matter of days. I have drawn once, cooked once, barely even started scapbooking, stopped reading, didnt even care to return my library book. School hasnt even crossed my mind in about two weeks and Im suppose to be picking classes in 7 days. It has gotten so bad to where I wont even fold my clean clothes or hang them up. Ive pulled them outta the dryer and threw them in to huge pile. This pile is now up to my hips if I propped the pile up just right. I put all my energy and time into something that I couldnt force. I tried to force it, tried to persuade it, tried to trick it, tried to manipulate it. I should have realized that if it was meant to be then it would be.

I have been longing for my other half, the person that makes me feel complete, the one that has the desire to make me smile and see me laugh, the one that knows his day isn't complete until he See's me and knows Im happy. This probably sounds needy and I may be asking for too much. But I know what I deserve and I have met men that are actually like that. I know they exist. I long for this because this is exactly what I would do for someone else. I love him, I really do! I have tried and tried to be what he wants, what he needs, what makes him happy, but there is my problem. What about what I want, what I need, what makes me happy?

I want success, good health, a college degree, a backyard of my own. I need to smile, I need to vent, I need to feel loved. I'm happy when someone loves me back, when I see the light in my daughter's eyes glisten. Im happy when I don't let other peoples issue get in the way of my goals and dreams.

If anyone can relate please keep reading. My wonderful friend Gabby sent me a message (below). This message reminded me everything I learn when I started reading and when I started to become happy with myself again. Tonight I am going to write 5 of these quotes and place them somewhere in my room. That way every morning when I wake up, I know what I need to focus on the obstacles in life are just that, obstacles.

"Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives"

"If you don't know where you are going

you'll end up someplace else."

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living

someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma —

which is living with the results of other people’s

thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out

your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to

follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you

truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

(“There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”)

“Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things

that matter. Don’t spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.”

"Everything around us is made up of energy. To attract positive

things in your life, start by giving off positive energy."

“Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart,

to give yourself to it.”

“We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past.

Become the architect of your future.”

(“Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will

suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by

letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever”.)

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.”

“Everyone faces challenges in life. It’s a matter of how you learn

to overcome them and using them to your advantage.”

“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself

what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because

what the world needs is people who are alive.”

“No matter where you are in life right now, no matter who

you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to

be who you are meant to be.”

“The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.”

“Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what

is possible for your life.”

(“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.”)

“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you

need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy

and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you;

and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others.

If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you

know what you want”

(“Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time

away from your own.” )

“20 years from now you will be disappointed by the

things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did. So throw

off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the

trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover”

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall

into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy

lies in having no goals to reach.”

“A goal is a dream with a deadline.”

Your life is yours to create – Don’t let others do it for you.

Amanda you are the own creator of your experiences... it all starts with your imagination..

picture your self where you want to be who you want to be what you want to accomplish

imagine your self already there and everything will fall into place.. attract what you

want to bring to your life.. don't loose focus... let Wyatt be who he is and focus

on the potential that you have inside your self to create a world full of happiness for you..

focus on your goals and the things that make you

happy do not loose your identity.. love your friend gabby