“I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other... I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have requirements-standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the relationship work for her.
She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn-I'm talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she's ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother's Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are important to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it's universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure "Amanda" is happy.”
― Steve Harvey
Thursday, October 27, 2011
If your going out on dates then this is for you!
Is Chivalry dead?
I didnt know what this word was till this morning. A man wrote me a message asking me on a date and asked if I believed in Chivalry. Im thinking to myself "What the hell is that, a religion or something?"
HAH! Little did I know, its something that Ive longed for many relationships ago.
I know I know, Im only 21 years old but still this is something every girl longs for. From playing Barbie's to playing house, to going to Prom or on your first date.
If your like I was and have no idea what this means, let me give you an idea. So your sitting in traffic and trying to find something to keep your mind off the annoying stop and go. You see a young couple, just kissing away. They seem to be in the honey-moon stage. She is so happy holding his hand, its as if she is skipping down the road. She couldnt be more giddy! This couple is so cute and you can tell nothing in the world means anything to them right now. Well they are getting ready to go into a coffee shop and you see him all but break his neck to get in ahead of her and let the door slam—I mean, physically slonk her—on her shoulder. You want to send her a telepathic message to turn tail, hail a cab, and end that date immediately. But she doesnt. She grimaced and limped in after him.
Chivalry in short means being a gentleman, having manners. I dont know about you but that is one of the sexiest traits a man can have. I think this way because it is lacked so much today in the dating world. Even married men dont know what it means to be a polite gentleman. If you, as a man, feel like your pride is being taken away by doing this, your a big fat cowardly looser.
Ladies on your next date I want you to try something. Stop at the restaurant door and wait. And wait. And wait some more until he gets the drift. Same thing at the table pausing for a chair to be pulled out. Same thing at the car door. In a way your doing your part by reminding guys or your teaching them if theyve never done it in the first place. Some women like you, need to demand a higher standard or treatment. Your not being bitchy, snotty or snobby. Its called being a lady!!
I didnt know what this word was till this morning. A man wrote me a message asking me on a date and asked if I believed in Chivalry. Im thinking to myself "What the hell is that, a religion or something?"
HAH! Little did I know, its something that Ive longed for many relationships ago.
I know I know, Im only 21 years old but still this is something every girl longs for. From playing Barbie's to playing house, to going to Prom or on your first date.
If your like I was and have no idea what this means, let me give you an idea. So your sitting in traffic and trying to find something to keep your mind off the annoying stop and go. You see a young couple, just kissing away. They seem to be in the honey-moon stage. She is so happy holding his hand, its as if she is skipping down the road. She couldnt be more giddy! This couple is so cute and you can tell nothing in the world means anything to them right now. Well they are getting ready to go into a coffee shop and you see him all but break his neck to get in ahead of her and let the door slam—I mean, physically slonk her—on her shoulder. You want to send her a telepathic message to turn tail, hail a cab, and end that date immediately. But she doesnt. She grimaced and limped in after him.
Chivalry in short means being a gentleman, having manners. I dont know about you but that is one of the sexiest traits a man can have. I think this way because it is lacked so much today in the dating world. Even married men dont know what it means to be a polite gentleman. If you, as a man, feel like your pride is being taken away by doing this, your a big fat cowardly looser.
Ladies on your next date I want you to try something. Stop at the restaurant door and wait. And wait. And wait some more until he gets the drift. Same thing at the table pausing for a chair to be pulled out. Same thing at the car door. In a way your doing your part by reminding guys or your teaching them if theyve never done it in the first place. Some women like you, need to demand a higher standard or treatment. Your not being bitchy, snotty or snobby. Its called being a lady!!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
My friends are better then yours.
A friend wrote me yesterday and made a really nice comment about how she loves my blog, a few people did actually. I appreciate it so much!! I had a feeling I wasnt going to be very well at blogging. I was very hesitant about linking it to my fb cause I figured it would never get as much attention as some of my friends'.
First off my cousn told me I inspired her to start a blog. Her blog is amazing so far and it been one day. WOW! I must say she one talented writer and she will right what ever she is thinking. She is blunt and gets straight to the point.
Second there is a girl that I never really talk to, we are friends but we dont usually talk. Well she wrote me yesterday and said that she loved my blog and that it has helped her so much. It made me feel soo... good.
After a while of texting with this friend we both found out that we are going through the same thing. We both would love to be with the father of our kids, we both want our family together. But the men in our lifes aren't on the same page. We are trying to figure out if its best to move on and get happy again or just be happy with ourselves and hope they eventually come around. We both know what we deserve and the way our men should treat us and we should just move on. But Damn!! its just not that easy.
This is what my next post is going to be about... Why men decide to stray when they have woman at home that are strong, independent, and loving. And why women still want those men.
Stay tuned...
First off my cousn told me I inspired her to start a blog. Her blog is amazing so far and it been one day. WOW! I must say she one talented writer and she will right what ever she is thinking. She is blunt and gets straight to the point.
Second there is a girl that I never really talk to, we are friends but we dont usually talk. Well she wrote me yesterday and said that she loved my blog and that it has helped her so much. It made me feel soo... good.
After a while of texting with this friend we both found out that we are going through the same thing. We both would love to be with the father of our kids, we both want our family together. But the men in our lifes aren't on the same page. We are trying to figure out if its best to move on and get happy again or just be happy with ourselves and hope they eventually come around. We both know what we deserve and the way our men should treat us and we should just move on. But Damn!! its just not that easy.
This is what my next post is going to be about... Why men decide to stray when they have woman at home that are strong, independent, and loving. And why women still want those men.
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
No means I can decide for my self.
My Tessy is constantly telling me "No" these days. Recently I will ask her to come here, her answer is "no" I ask her to eat. No! I ask her to go get on the potty. NO! Oh and it wasnt just "No" it was a little smirk and sometimes a giggle then she would go right back to what she was doing. In my mind Im thinking "that little shit, she thinks she is funny." Between me and you, It was quite cute after the fact. But during, oh no! I was ready for a "yes" and "No" war.
So after a week of that I stopped asking her and began to tell her what to do and threaten "time out". She would get in time out and cry for a minute and sure it made me feel like the boss again but that still didnt get the deed done in the potty, it was one more pull up I had to change and two mouths to feed instead of just my own.
I read a book a while back called Parenting with Love and Logic. I didnt read it all the way through but I did get some great knowledge out of the book. I learned that a child is saying "No" because they have learned they can make their own choices. And the giggling and smiling that goes with it could be them just loving the feeling of having their own sence of independency. The book gave an idea on how to over come that. Its about giving them choices and making it a choice that, either way, the outcome isnt demolishing their feeling of being able to choose what they want and being sure you still feel like you are in control.
So for dinner one night she didnt want to eat her dinner, of course. I was ready to put her in time out until she was ready to eat. (last time I did that it resulted in her coming back to the table, taking one bite and throwing up all her food) So I thought to my self, Tesslynn loves deserts and she will be so excited if she gets a little snack after dinner. So I said "If you eat 5 more bites I will give you a apple with some peanut butter or some fruit snacks" She was all over it. And when she was done I let her make her choice of which snack she would perfer. I should have already known it was going to be fruit snacks but Hey, dinner got eaten and she felt good about it.
So after a week of that I stopped asking her and began to tell her what to do and threaten "time out". She would get in time out and cry for a minute and sure it made me feel like the boss again but that still didnt get the deed done in the potty, it was one more pull up I had to change and two mouths to feed instead of just my own.
I read a book a while back called Parenting with Love and Logic. I didnt read it all the way through but I did get some great knowledge out of the book. I learned that a child is saying "No" because they have learned they can make their own choices. And the giggling and smiling that goes with it could be them just loving the feeling of having their own sence of independency. The book gave an idea on how to over come that. Its about giving them choices and making it a choice that, either way, the outcome isnt demolishing their feeling of being able to choose what they want and being sure you still feel like you are in control.
So for dinner one night she didnt want to eat her dinner, of course. I was ready to put her in time out until she was ready to eat. (last time I did that it resulted in her coming back to the table, taking one bite and throwing up all her food) So I thought to my self, Tesslynn loves deserts and she will be so excited if she gets a little snack after dinner. So I said "If you eat 5 more bites I will give you a apple with some peanut butter or some fruit snacks" She was all over it. And when she was done I let her make her choice of which snack she would perfer. I should have already known it was going to be fruit snacks but Hey, dinner got eaten and she felt good about it.
Women can be so......
"No one really talks about it, but one of the main reasons, preventing women from getting along with each other is the J Word Jealousy. Most of my friends are men. Stop , before you read any farther with this. There is no romance, foreplay or sexual contact of any kind with my male friends.I find that I interact better with men than women. Some women, not all women are catty chatty dolls. Women can be very ,silly, competitive and always want to be the center of attention. One of my girl friends will make sure that the guys will always look at her first , when we are out at a club or concert. She will always start a disturbance to get notice. When entering a room at a party or club women will scope you out from head to toe before the guys will . They are looking for a flaw. Most men have no time to become drama queens or frivolous.
I love being a woman . Smelling good and looking good. What I really hate are false phony females, who do not speak the same language as I do. Secretly , all women have an idea of what a woman should look like.
We think that a women is someone who is appealing to men. Has a great sense of style,class and has a devoted group of female admires and males.When we see one another possibly attaining even one of those attributes, the claws come out!"
Last night was my first night at Wingers and I could not believe the Evil within females. The moment I walk-in it is all eye on me, thats the way I felt anyways. Looking me up and down, judging me from the get go. I didnt even have a chance to introduce myself before they decided if they liked me or not. I didnt want to walk around with my gaurd instantly up because I knew if I did that, they would take it as a threat. So I was everyones little B**** the whole night. Offering help when I seen someone struggling, holding doors, cleaning up others messes, saying "please" and "thank you" like it was going out of stye.
Those manner my parents tought me when I was little really came into effect last night. Usually I would think I have to keep my guard up because It would make me look week. Not this time! It really paid off. By the end of the night the girls were saying "Bye", "Nice meeting you!" "You did great tonight!" Ect... It was a great!!
I love being a woman . Smelling good and looking good. What I really hate are false phony females, who do not speak the same language as I do. Secretly , all women have an idea of what a woman should look like.
We think that a women is someone who is appealing to men. Has a great sense of style,class and has a devoted group of female admires and males.When we see one another possibly attaining even one of those attributes, the claws come out!"
By Wonder Referrals
Last night was my first night at Wingers and I could not believe the Evil within females. The moment I walk-in it is all eye on me, thats the way I felt anyways. Looking me up and down, judging me from the get go. I didnt even have a chance to introduce myself before they decided if they liked me or not. I didnt want to walk around with my gaurd instantly up because I knew if I did that, they would take it as a threat. So I was everyones little B**** the whole night. Offering help when I seen someone struggling, holding doors, cleaning up others messes, saying "please" and "thank you" like it was going out of stye.
Those manner my parents tought me when I was little really came into effect last night. Usually I would think I have to keep my guard up because It would make me look week. Not this time! It really paid off. By the end of the night the girls were saying "Bye", "Nice meeting you!" "You did great tonight!" Ect... It was a great!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
“When you are happy, you are sexy”
The past couple weeks I have thrown my self at his feet. NO MORE!!
These are some lines from Why Men Love Bitches. They have helped me so much.
I cant wait to get the book!!
“Bitch (noun): A woman who won't bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion - be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance. She doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards - only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.”
Be that "toy" he long desires. Be that toy he works very hard to get. If he isnt trying, he isnt worth it.
These are some lines from Why Men Love Bitches. They have helped me so much.
I cant wait to get the book!!
“Bitch (noun): A woman who won't bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion - be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance. She doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards - only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.”
- “Whenever you are too worried about someone else's approval, that person loses respect for you.”
- It started when he was a kid. When he received a toy for Christmas that he didn’t even ask for, he played with it for a while, five minutes. The toy he cherished was the one he bought with two months’ allowance that sat on the top shelf in the toy store. He couldn’t reach it but went in to look at it all the time.
Be that "toy" he long desires. Be that toy he works very hard to get. If he isnt trying, he isnt worth it.
- “When you live life with him or without him, that is when he will accept and value you for who you are.”
- “you can tell how much someone respects you by how much he respects your opinion. If he does't respect your opinion,he won't respect you.”
- Every guy knows he can find a girl who is simply satisfied with satisfying him. They are much more turned on *by a woman who cares about her own pleasure as well.”
- Don't believe what anyone tells you about yourself.”
- “When a man sees you are happy with him but you can be just as happy having nothing to do with him, that’s when he won’t want to leave your side. When you are happy, you are sexy.”
- In romance, there's nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is.”
- “There's nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or strugle a little bit to get.”
- “With a woman he's crazy about, he'll put in all the overtime in the world. He'll be doing things for you, he'll be considerate, he'll want to please you, he'll try to cheer you up if you are down, and he will enjoy every moment because you are the person he values most.”
- “Relationship Principle 10
You can tell how much someone respects you by how much he respects your opinion. If he doesn't respect your opinion, he won't respect you.” - “Men are intrigued by anything they do not completly control.”
- “Relationship Principle 3
He doesn't marry a woman who is perfect. He marries the woman who is interesting.” - “Relationship Principle 11
It is better to be disliked for being who you are than to be loved for who you are not.” - “When a man likes you, he will be interested in finding out what you like. If he makes you happy, he feels more secure. Everything men do is intended to impress women.”
- “Relationship Principle 6
Men see how you dress, and then make assumptions about your relationship potential.” - “As soon as a manhas his guard up. he will not fall in love or get attached the only way he'll get attached is if you lower his guard first.”
- “you can tell how much someone respects you by how much he respects your opinion. If he does't respect your opinion,he won't respect you.”
“The bitch does not stop moving to her own rhythm. This, in and of itself, prevents her from becoming off-balance like a nice girl who abandons her routine.”
― Sherry Argov,
Monday, October 17, 2011
IF HE ISNT CALLING YOU
If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call
Time to move on....
The tables have turned. The outcomes have changed in a way that I never thought would and I have realized so much about what I want and dont want. "I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know... I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and into me." "The right man/woman does not need to be reminded that your great." "If he/she says they 'DONT KNOW' then that means"NO!" "I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation." "I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have." "Cut them off!!" "Dont give them the chance to reject you again." This man/woman took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere. There is going to come a point where you are going to say "BUT HE/SHE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did. Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself. Be happy with who you are... if you have made mistakes, own up to them and take responsibilty. Learn from the mistakes and get back on that bus of life. Maybe one day your paths will join. But until then you can not pull someone on to your bus that doesnt have the desire to go.
Dear Man Of My Dreams,
Dear man of my dreams,
I do not know who you are, or where or when we will meet, but I hope its soon.
I pray that when we meet and fall in love, you will love me for me, and not hope for someone who is thinner or prettier. I hope you will make me laugh,
take care of me if I get sick, and be trustworthy.
I hope youll remember that I prefer daisies to roses and my favorite color changes with my m...ood. Please know that my eyes aren't blue, they're grey, with flecks of navy.
Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first, but please don't be afraid to kiss me. I'm sure your kisses will be perfect. When we go on a date, please don't stress about where to take me; what's important is that I'll be with you.
If I cry, just hold me close and I'll heal quickly. Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, I would like you to always be honest with me. i would like you to praise me for my future and not put me down for my past. I hope you will shower me with confidence and smiles. I hope you don't think that I'm asking too much of you. I hope you understand that im very scared. Every relationship is a new game of cards, and...I've never been good at cards. But I will try my best to be kind and love you for all that you are. this is all that I ask.
sincerely: the women of your dreams.
I do not know who you are, or where or when we will meet, but I hope its soon.
I pray that when we meet and fall in love, you will love me for me, and not hope for someone who is thinner or prettier. I hope you will make me laugh,
take care of me if I get sick, and be trustworthy.
I hope youll remember that I prefer daisies to roses and my favorite color changes with my m...ood. Please know that my eyes aren't blue, they're grey, with flecks of navy.
Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first, but please don't be afraid to kiss me. I'm sure your kisses will be perfect. When we go on a date, please don't stress about where to take me; what's important is that I'll be with you.
If I cry, just hold me close and I'll heal quickly. Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, I would like you to always be honest with me. i would like you to praise me for my future and not put me down for my past. I hope you will shower me with confidence and smiles. I hope you don't think that I'm asking too much of you. I hope you understand that im very scared. Every relationship is a new game of cards, and...I've never been good at cards. But I will try my best to be kind and love you for all that you are. this is all that I ask.
sincerely: the women of your dreams.
So... for the past couple weeks I have been reading self help books. So far I have read: The Secret; Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus; Power of Intention; The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband and I have a few others on hold at the library. I believe they have helped me so much with knowing what I want and how to be happy with my self.
Before, I relied on a relationship to make me happy. I always needed someone there. Someone to text, someone to talk to, someone to go out with on the weekends. If I didnt have this I would get needy, depressed, call ex's, whatever I could I do to feel happy. It became pathetic.
Now that I feel like I know so much, I know that I can go home and spend a whole weekend alone and still wake up every morning feeling happy and in love with my self.
I love this feeling and I will continue to read and do my best with keeping positve and happy.
Before, I relied on a relationship to make me happy. I always needed someone there. Someone to text, someone to talk to, someone to go out with on the weekends. If I didnt have this I would get needy, depressed, call ex's, whatever I could I do to feel happy. It became pathetic.
Now that I feel like I know so much, I know that I can go home and spend a whole weekend alone and still wake up every morning feeling happy and in love with my self.
I love this feeling and I will continue to read and do my best with keeping positve and happy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)