LOVE THIS!! HAD TO RE-BLOG!!

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself,you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you.Marriage is about the person you married.”

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to makeher happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family.

I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, myside of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love thatperson, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and theirfamily and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

-Seth Adam Smith

Love shouldn't require Windex to be clear. I either is or isnt.

Think about it: If you have to chase a man or convince him why he should be with you, do you really want to be with him? You are far too fabulous t beg, crawl, manipulate, or convince. Its time to write yourself a big ole reality check and keep the change. Let go of that dead-end relationship and hit the highway to Loving Yourself Too Much to Wait Around for Someone Who Doesn't Love You Enough. Someone out there will be excited, thrilled and honored to call you his girl that he would never string you along. But you'll never meet him as long as you're clinging to Mr. Wrong.

- The Single Woman

Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he is going to treat you like sports fish.

She has bad hair days. She'll buy a new dress at Target and hope it passes for something a little fancier. Sometimes she struggles to make her rent and her car paument in the same month. Because she bought too many shoes? Sometimes. But the only pair of designer shoes she has in her collect is a pair of Christian LaCroiz that she got half-off at a sidewalk sale. Sometiems her friends let her down. they dont always say the right things. And the elusive One That Got Away? She has days when she still cant cut the strings. She has moments of panic when she wonders if her Price Charming got lost somewhere or decided to settle for another less complicated, less stuborn, less independent princess. Sometimes she doesnt know where she's going until she gets there. She hasnt got it all figured out.... for from it, in fact. But she loves God and she loves to dance, and she is her own better half. The bravest woman I know? She is the reasons I do what I do She is The Single Woman She's me. And she's you. -The Single Woman

Change

People are nature's #1 creature of habit. We tend to get comfortable, stuck in our ways and fear change. We like to hold on to old things in order to hold on to old memories, when usually they hold us back from making new ones. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and make a clean break from the past to start a fresh beginning. - Willie Robinson (Duck Dynasty)

Hope this helps, Men!!

Answers to why she may not be putting out. READ CAREFULLY She’s pissed This is probably the most common reason that women withhold sex. If you’ve done something that made her furious, she may not be above punishing you by keeping the one thing you really, really want out of your reach. The last thing a woman wants to do when she’s feeling any kind of negative emotion, whether it’s mad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, stressed, or worn out, is get busy between the sheets. While many guys can turn off the unpleasant feelings and get down to business, a woman finds it more difficult to push those emotions aside and get aroused. You might be satisfied with angry, violent sex, but she wants to work out her angst before she jumps into bed. The solution to this is to find out why she’s upset and try to fix it. Sometimes simply acknowledging that you've done something wrong is enough to make her calm down. Other times, the only way to get out of the doghouse is to participate in one of those long, heartfelt conversations in which you share feelings She’s manipulating you Another reason women withhold sex is to get something out of you. When no other methods of getting what she wants are working, she might resort to revoking your sex privileges until you agree to what she’s after. This will usually be a pretty big thing. Generally, she’s not going to bother holding out on you in order to get you to take out the garbage. The easiest way to get around this is to give her what she wants. If that’s not a possibility, you’ll have to appeal to her sense of reason. If that doesn’t work, try giving her something similar to what she wants. If you can’t make that happen, you might have to wait it out and service yourself until she comes to her senses. She’s bored She could be avoiding sex with you because she’s not enjoying it. Some women are embarrassed by the idea of talking about sex with their partners, especially if there is a problem. So instead of telling you what’s wrong, she might just close up shop. To get around her sex ban in this case, try suggesting something new sexually. Take her to a sex shop and buy something fun for both of you. Buy a book with suggestions on how to spice things up. If you show some interest and put some effort into making some changes, she may open up again. She’s tired Maybe she’s not putting out because she’s just too damn tired. Perhaps you want to do it more often than she does, and she just can’t keep up. Other life demands might be stressing her out and keeping her busy too, making her too worn out to enjoy sex as often as you’d like. To get her back into the idea, pamper her with some relaxing treats beforehand. Draw her a bubble bath or give her a massage. If she’s relaxed, she’s more likely to feel sexy. Or, you could be truly unselfish and devote your time entirely to her pleasure for one night, making her more likely to want to return the favor another time. Also, you might consider cutting back a bit on the frequency. Instead of going to her every time you’re aroused, take matters into your own hands every now and again. - By Sarah Stephanson

ODE TO GIRLS

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a tee-shirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hung-over best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

By Jessica Leigh Griffith

A Woman's Love

“Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ” 

Steve Harvey

THIS WILL MAKE ANYONE SMILE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class ...began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was
Full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full..

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car..

The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put
The sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.See More

Enough is Enough

Another empty promise
A good intention from the start
You failed to mention
Our love could be this hard

I'm tired of talking
Don't have nothing left to say
Well maybe sometime
We'll sift through the ashes one day

I can't lean on you 'cause I fall right over
Can't count on you, it doesn't add up
I see we're through and the truth is pretty sober
This is going nowhere enough is enough

The hardest part in my choice to leave
Was not quite knowing what I'd achieve
But now I know I can be stronger on my own
That's what sleepless nights and only God have shown

I can't lean on you 'cause I fall right over
Can't count on you it doesn't add up
I see we're through and the truth is pretty sober
This is going nowhere enough is enough

Well I made up my mind I won't have a change of heart
And I've removed myself from every single part of you

I can't lean on you
I can't count on you
I see we're through
enough is enough

Always KEEP IT POSTIVE

I don't know if I know how to hold on to anything. In the end, I always end up letting go because I'm scared. I have spent plenty of time building this complex series of booby traps so that nobody would ever get too close. Maybe my heart is too weak to handle the disappointment again.
I know I will continue to hid behind this wall and remain strong, until someone is stronger and break them down. I will never let the heartache or pain concur me. Ill always smile and Ill always be fine!  Someday, we will forget the hurt, the reasons we cried, and who caused the pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and on their own time. Believe that love is out there. And always believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do. Don't let one bad day make you feel like you have a bad life. Without bad days, how would you be able to know what a good day is like? Be grateful for these bad days, it means a good day is right around the corner! :)

I’ve spent a year building this complex series of booby traps so that nobody would ever get too close, and then you came along with that big beating heart of yours and broke all those walls down.

If....

If you're going to stay, stay forever.  If you're going to leave, leave today. If you're going to change, change for the better. And if you're going to talk, make sure you mean what you say.

KIP

You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your daily routine. Wake up everyday & ask yourself, how bad do you want it? How much are you willing to put forth the effort into things and people you want and need in your life? Nothing great comes with out effort. You cant reach anything new if your hands are still full of yesterdays junk. Even if the path is blurry, keep walking. You'll focus in when you know what you want. The picture of your life will be crystal clear! After all, its not the first chapter of our lives that shows how well we ran this incredible race. So smile, laugh, forgive & believe. Over & over, Again & again.

Keep It Postive

Friends give the greatest advice!

You're Only In your 20's for a Decade!

Take advantage of your 20s

I read a blog today that made me think. I am living my 20s all wrong ;)

My favorites

1. Don’t feel the need to respond to every text message, phone call, and email the second it reaches you. Once upon a time, it took longer than a minute to reach someone. People used stamps and envelopes; they had answering machines they didn’t check for hours, sometimes days. No one will die if you don’t immediately respond to every message you receive.

2. Ask for what’s owed to you. Half the time, you’re not getting your needs met because you’re not making them known. Your employers, romantic interests, and friends are not going to read your mind and give you what you need unless you speak up.

3. Never turn down an open bar. Seek them out and make them a priority. Indulging in open bars when you’re older isn’t appropriate because a) people will think you have an alcohol problem and b) you’re supposed to have enough money to afford your own alcohol.

4. If you’re unhappy and someone offers you a way out, take it. You don’t owe your first job years of loyalty and your first-born; you don’t have to stay in your city just because you’re on a first-name basis with the bodega guy. Do what feels right; the initial fear will give way to excitement.

5. Take advantage of all the energy you have in your 20s. In your 30s and 40s, your body starts getting upset with you, when some 20-something babe is all, “Wanna race?” That’s not a concern when you’re in your 20s — don’t ever take it for granted.

6. Play a sport you played in elementary school. Kickball, dodgeball. There are leagues for these games now. Get on it.

7. Keep making friends. Everyone complains that it’s hard to make friends after college, but we still manage to find new people to flirt with and date, right? It’s not that hard. You know yourself better than you ever have before, and your friends can finally reflect that. Don’t cling to old friends because it’s too frightening or ‘risky’ to make new ones.

8. Stay up late. In your 20s, you’re all, “Let’s go to another bar!” “Who wants to eat at a diner?” “Have you guys seen the sun rise from the High Line?” “In this moment I swear we were infinite!” When you get older, this becomes, “What are you doing? Go home. Watch Parks and Rec and go to sleep. What is wrong with you, staying up all night? Who has time for that?” If you’re in your 20s, you do. You have all the time. Do it now and take advantage of how not tired you are. You think you’re crabby now when you stay up too late? You’ll never believe how terrible you feel when you do it in your 30s.

9. Savor those 20s hangovers. They are a gift from God so that you’ll always remember what your tolerance level is. Your hangover recovery time is like flippin’ Wolverine in your 20s. You wake up, feel like death, pull on some shades, gulp down coffee or maybe a bloody Mary and whine about your headache over brunch. Oh, boo hoo. When you’re older, every hangover is Apocalypse Freaking Now. You’re not making it to brunch. You’re not making it off your floor in a weeping puddle of regret.

10. Do ‘unacceptable’ things to your hair. Dye it. Dread it. Shave only the left side of your head and give a crap if it grows back in a flattering manner (hint: it won’t). There’s no time but now.

11. Sit down, unplug, and read non-fiction. Do this daily. None of your peers are doing it. They’re playing video games and refreshing Facebook and Gmail chatting about nothing in particular. After a month you’ll be smarter than all of them.

12. Take road trips. Sitting in a car for days on end isn’t something your body was designed to do forever.

13. Go to/host theme parties. Once people age out of their 20s, no one’s trying to wear pajamas or Saran Wrap out of the house. The only theme parties that exist after your 20s are ‘Wedding,’ ‘Baby Shower,’ and ‘Funeral.’

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/21-ways-you-should-take-advantage-of-your-20s/

Cryin' on a suitcase

Don't wait, don't think, don't lock the door behind you
Run and jump into your truck, hit the gas, burn some rubber up, your time's running out
Do it now, Take a shortcut, take a back road, take the shoulder to the exit, Skip the parking, screw the ticket, hit the curb and leave it sitting.
Whatever it takes, You gotta get to that gate

She's cryin' on a suitcase
Sittin' at the airport
Waitin' on the airplane
Bout to take her out of here
They're gonna call her number, She'll sit down by the window, The plane'll leave the runway, And fade into a goodbye sky, better run while you still got time

She's cryin' on a suitcase

Admit it boy you blew it, you really messed it up, You can make excuses if you really want to lose her, It's all on the line, do or die time, Getting on your knees time
Tell her that you want her, need her, love her, gotta have her, Everything good in your life begins and ends with her
Lose your pride while you can, Come on man be a man!!

She's cryin' on a suitcase

I will participating in Lent!

I have decided to participate in Lent.

I may not be of the Catholic religion but I think it’s a great tradition! Sacrifice something pleasant for 40 days. Take this time to look in the mirror, acknowledge my faults, appreciate the small things in my life that I normally would take for granted and, choose a happier, healthier lifestyle.

 I have chosen 3 things to give up, all of which have a great benefit to my health.

 Sacrifice #1 Hot Cheetos.

 If you know me well enough, you will know that I eat AT LEAST 3 bags of these bad boys a week. (Sometimes a bag a day!) When I was in high school I developed a disease called GERD. This makes it so my esophagus doesn’t shut like it should and anything acidy will trigger horrible pain. The doctor warned me that spicy food and anything with carbonation will always cause me pain and will most likely make it worse. I have been good about avoiding soda but Hot Cheetos, I couldn’t give those up. This decision will not only help the pain, it will also go hand in hand with my next sacrifice.

Sacrifice #2 Free Time for Gym Time!

Every day after work I go home and just sit. I pretty much do nothing since I’m not in school this semester and the weather is shitty. I pay for a membership and I’m letting it go to waste. I will give up 6-8 hours of free time each week to go to the gym. It may not seem like much but, with the busy schedule that Tesslynn and I have, this will be totally doable.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Sacrifice # 3 SMOKING!

 This isn’t just for the 40 days, this will be for good. I want to have a long healthy life style! This may not be considered a enormous sacrifice but it is a change for the better! It’ll make me appreciate the air I breathe, the air others breathe and most importantly the bad air that I am contributing to by smoking that my daughter has to breath. I will be able to keep up with Tesslynn is all her recreational activities in the future and I will feel like a million bucks.

 

Let the Lent begin!

Go get em' Tiger!

If I have learned anything from dating, it is to have a sense of humor. Don’t get upset, mascara is way too damn expensive!

For those girls that go on one date with a man and the very next day (maybe even that night) they are saying their name with the man’s last name at the end, just to see how it to sounds…. CALM THE F*@% DOWN! I can admit, I am guilty of this... more than once.. so I get it, the date was wonderful, and you had so many things in common. You both love concerts, the same bands, your views on relationship are the same, you laughed, you held hands, and you maybe even kissed good night. But seriously, it is one guy out of a million… don’t try and settle down just because he was hot, things went great, and he made you feel like he was interested. It’s a date, that’s what you are supposed to do. It makes it less awkward.
 Dating should not be an interview for marriage, it should be fun and exciting. You should be going on adventurous dates, getting all “sexified” to try and impress this person whom honestly, you may never see again.
Ladies, we have it easy! We just need get on our erotic heels, put on some mascara, pick out some cute panties (dont tell me you dont feel 100 x's hotter when youre rocking a matching bra and panties) rub on some lip gloss and go get your ass some free drinks and dinner. Its awesome!!! Pause the desperate search to meet Mr. Right and as an alternative, just meet new people while enjoying your independence! You're day will come, but until then, celebrate who are.. in this moment.. for you will never be this exact version of you again.